I had a great visit with a great friend today. I love to go to her house, even though it involves an hour-long drive into, well, the middle of nowhere. But once you get there… ahhhh. Today was no exception. She poured us each a cup of coffee, shooed the kids outside, and we settled in for some serious catching up. Kids, life, God, books… we didn’t run out of things to say for, oh, an hour or four. It was a lovely, lovely day.

One thing she reminded me of, from the book The Shack, was the idea of living with expectancy rather than living with expectation. That rocked me back on my heels. I am going to adopt that as one of my personal Life Rules. I’ll make it… Rule #14. Right after Rule #13: Spend lots and lots of time with wise friends.

Imagine the joy I will experience, when I let go of expectations (in my husband, kids, friends, lifestyle) and instead approach the people/circumstances/things in my life with a sense of wonder, possibility. Here is a quote from the book:

“…if you and I are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that ‘expectancy’ to an ‘expectation’ – spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations . Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friends are supposed to do, or the responsibilities of a good friend.”

Imagine the disappointment and hurt that would be avoided, simply by living with a sense of expectancy rather than a list of expectations. Freedom!

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