We have been blessed with the presence of Little Man for about a month and a half, now. Keeping in mind that this is my first experience with the whole “foster mom” thing, I wanted to share some of the things that have been memorable, or interesting, so far.

Right off the bat, just know that I am totally and completely in love with this kid. If they would let me keep him, I would. But he is not mine. He has a mom. He is going to leave our family at some point and return to his real home. While it is a bizarre thing, to love someone as if he was mine while knowing he is not, it is the only way I can do this job. I have had lots of people say to me something along the lines of I could never take someone in as part of my family and then let him go. It would be too hard. Yes, it will be very hard. But who ever said doing the thing that you feel God wants you to do would be easy?

Fostering has not been without it’s challenges, though. It has been an adjustment for all of us. Carter, especially, has needed lots of reassurance that he has not been replaced by a cute baby. Carter, being Carter, has shown his feelings in lots of ways, but mainly by wanting more of my attention. More hugs, more snuggles, more assurances that he is loved. He has also figured out that if he is hugging me, Little Man will cry to be hugged. Yeah, the sibling rivalry thing exists between foster brothers, too. But so does brotherly love, and these two youngest boys spend hours each day playing together. In most ways, Carter loves being a Big Brother. He pulls Little Man around in his wagon, pushes him on the swing … it is great.

Once a week I take Little Man to visit his mom. The first few time were horrible. The procedure was to wait with Little Man in the back parking lot. Eventually, a social worker would come down and take him, screaming, from me. Then, four hours later, the back door would open and a social worker would hand him, screaming, back to me. I hated it and asked from the beginning if I could meet LM’s mom and hopefully have an easier exchange.

I have met her. Now, I just bring Little Man into the office waiting room. There is no trauma. Mom and I have a little visit. Each time I drop Little Man off, she seems more comfortable and shares a bit more about herself. Once, I drove her and Little Man to her house, and she invited me in for a minute to see Little Man’s room. Once, we saw them at the Mall, so Carter and I had lunch with them at the Food Court. Before long, I will probably just drop Little Man off at Mom’s house for visits.

I have to work at not being judgemental. And, truthfully, I like her. Above all, I pray she will be a good mommy for our Little Man. Because the day will come, sooner rather than later, when the first thing I do in the morning will NOT be to cut up an apple for a baby’s breakfast, when I will be able to type on the computer and NOT have a squirmy boy in my lap, when I will NOT need to change a diaper, and when I will NOT feel the arms of a Little Man around my neck.

Sigh…

I’ll reflect more later.

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