This past weekend was the annual Christian Women’s Retreat and Trail Ride, here in southern Saskatchewan. I was blessed by the amazing women attending, and the stories they shared. The theme was “Your Story in HIStory”. In other words, Testimony. Although I was facilitating the weekend, I had not written my testimony ahead of time. I thought it would be cool to wait and write mine at the same time the other women were writing their’s. So, as I’m sitting in the cabin and trying to write, with a squirmy Little Man “helping”, my thought was – Okay, this was really dumb! I SO should have written this ahead of time. Anyway, this is the testimony I wrote and shared with the ladies on the weekend.

Fear entered my life when my children were born. I remember being afraid that I would die and then who would take care of my children? I remember getting up to check on them twenty times a night when they were babies. I was fearful that something might happen to them while they were playing outside or at a friend’s house. I worried that my husband might lose his job, or we might have to move, or my children might not “turn out” okay.

But, the thing I was most fearful of was that God would ask me to do a hard thing. And really, that is what all those other fears boiled down to.

Then, I read Stormie O’Martian’s book, The Power of a Praying Parent, and out of that, God changed me in a couple of ways. First, I realized that I wasn’t the only one who struggled with fear. And, secondly, I learned to deal with my fears through prayer.

Now, when fear begins to take me over, I can pray and turn my fear over to God. Sometimes, I give God my fear several times a day! And, instead of feeling guilty for being fearful, God gives me peace.

After God helped me learn to deal with my fear, guess what happened? Some really hard things happened. And God has helped me face each situation with a measure of peace and with the knowledge that He is in control.

So now, Praise God!, I am at the point in my life when I can actually choose to do a hard thing. I can choose to bring a child into my home and love him with all of my heart, all the time knowing that the day will come when I will have to tell him goodbye.

My encouragement to you is to trust God to not only help you face the hard things in your life, but to sometimes even choose them.

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