Oh ya. One of THOSE days. A day that started early and felt like it should be over by noon. A day like a bad sitcom, without the laugh track. A day where I said the wrong thing and did the wrong thing and didn’t say or do the right things. A day that reminds me that I am completely human. A day of doing much and accomplishing little. I blame it on the rainy weather and the postal strike and the children. I blame it on whatever I can think of. I wallow a bit, feel sad, feel tired. Bark at the kids for barking at each other.

I sit for a minute, sigh, mumble a prayer, and ask His help to redeem the time that is left in this day.

And I wonder, again, why it is so easy for me to let go of joy? Why it is easier, sometimes, to harbour unhappiness, to share my time with resentment, to fuss.

Deep down, I know the answer.

I know it is because I have let myself believe the lies. The ones that whisper their untruths into my heart. You are not good enough. People can see right through you, right through to the mess. You are failing your children. You are failing.

And sometimes, crazy as it seems, I give in and I believe. I let the lies steal what I know is true. That I am loved. That I live in daily grace. That there is beauty and purpose and joy even in the mess. There is beauty, even in the mess.

Be still and know that I am God.

… so I sit, still, and I KNOW.

I know the plans I have for you.

… so I sit, still, and I KNOW.

You are a holy vessel.

… so I sit, still, and I KNOW.

And the knowing seeps deep into my heart, and covers the lies. The knowing bathes the hurt; it is a salve. The knowing gives purpose to the doing. The knowing fills the emptiness and turns human into holy.

Be still and know.