The sermon was on the parable of the Prodigal. I’ve read it many times. I’ve read many of the same books and thought many of the same thoughts, and I’ve pondered the Rembrandt, and still, something new. As he said, the Word works on you.

As I’ve thought on this parable, it is the being that has struck me as profound. That the son, returning, felt worthless to the point of expecting nothing, relationship-wise. He was willing to be the doer, the servant, rather than the be-er, the son.

I know how to do, but do I know how to be?

It is the being that makes the relationship. It is the being that gives the doing its purpose.

How do I know if I am doing or being? I check my heart. Am I loving conditionally or unconditionally? Are my actions matching my feelings, or am I faking it? Am I feeling energized or am I tired? I’m not talking about only doing what you feel like doing. You know I’m not talking about that! If that was the case, my family might never eat again and my children would be dressed like the orphans in the musical Annie.

I’m talking about relationships. Checking in with your heart to see how you are approaching the people in your life.

Am I being a friend or am I doing friendship? Do a heart check.

Am I being a mom or am I doing motherhood? Do a heart check.

Am I being a wife or am I just doing it? Do a heart check.

Am I being a teacher or banker or doctor or am I just doing the job? Heart?

Am I being a child of the king or am I just doing christianity? Heart, what do you say?

I get lost, sometimes, in the doing. It’s easier, actually. It keeps me busy, keeps me from thinking too much. Keeps me feeling like I am accomplishing something, or at least fulfilling what is expected of me. But eventually, my soul interrupts my busy self to remind me that this, this woman-in-motion personal tour that I am on, is not the way it is meant to be.

Pause. Breathe. Re-evaluate. Get rid of some stuff. Make some space in my life. Remember Him. Remember what it is all about.

Because I want to be a human being, not just a human doing. Don’t you?

Advertisements