I read Dad’s post last week about words, and I thought, I’d like a speech writer. I’d love to have a Life Editor who just followed me around, filtering my words as they left my mouth so that what I said was eloquent and meaningful. Someone who would take out the umms and hmms and who could take the swirling thoughts and uncertain responses and make sense of them.
Wouldn’t that be great?
Instead, I’m left with my own daily mess of words. I’m left wishing I’d said or not said this or that, or said it differently. Wishing for a do-over of a conversation that didn’t go the way I wanted it to. Praying I’ll say the right thing, the important thing, the best thing. Feeling regret sometimes for the things said badly – for the angry, insensitive, thoughtless words.
Sometimes I’m muted by word-fear. Fearful of saying the thing that might offend. Worried I’ll say it wrong, be misunderstood, be falsely quoted. Because it’s happened, of course.
These written words, too, are hard sometimes. It’s a worry, this sharing of life in print. Could it be too much? Is it getting annoying? Why do it, really?
These written words, they’re sneaking around in my head lately. They’re hard to find, hiding themselves away. It’s a game of hide-and-seek, finding them and writing them and writing them and worrying about them. It’s work, you know?
Why then? Why do it when I wonder if it matters, or is done well? Why keep on?
The answer is elusive. Why does anyone do what she does? Why does she go back to school, or cook something fabulous, or day after day do her best work at her job? Why dream or try or keep it up?
Because. Just, because.
Because you and I are made to create.
Because we’re made to try and worry and then try some more.
Because we’re gifted in unique and different ways, and these gifts are meant to be opened and shared.
Because best always takes hard work.
Because, once in a while, someone says thank you.
Can I just say thank you to you? Thank you for reading. Thank you for being whoever you are. Thank you for getting up today and working at your art… whether that is the making of family, or a job, or words, or kindness, or compassion, or prayer.
Because, Friend, your art, whatever it’s form, whatever your medium, matters.
Keep making it, even when it’s hard.
Especially when it’s hard.
May we paint today with beauty, each of us.
Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16 (The Message)
February 5, 2013 at 9:47 am
Love you J and p.s.your words matter, and often say what my heart can’t
February 5, 2013 at 9:56 am
Love you too, my creative friend! π Thank you.
February 5, 2013 at 9:51 am
Well said Friend! π
February 5, 2013 at 9:56 am
Thank you π
February 5, 2013 at 10:41 am
I’ve often pondered the very question you brought up. Why do I care so much? Even when others don’t seem to care about whether or not I write, I still do. It’s amazing what draws us to do more even when it’s hard. Thanks for sharing, Janelle!
February 5, 2013 at 11:24 am
It’s a bit if a puzzle, isn’t it. It all seems to make sense when the words come easy. Doubt creeps in when they don’t.
February 5, 2013 at 10:47 am
I have been wondering the same things as the beginning of your post. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You minister to me, bring me hope and encouragement and joy. Thanks especially for the scripture at the end, I needed to read that today. May our Lord bless you with such a wonderful surprise of outpouring on you today. DAF
February 5, 2013 at 11:26 am
I suppose there’s a taking stock of it all that happens, no matter what we are doing. An evaluation, maybe? Thanks for your encouraging words today. It’s wonderful to have a connection.
February 5, 2013 at 11:11 am
Oh Janelle, your words matter. There is a light in you, a voice that creates and shares who God made you to be. You don’t have to be perfect to share, you just have to be real. And you are.
February 5, 2013 at 11:28 am
You are such a blessing, Pamela. Thank you for your encouragement. What a joy it’s been getting to know you through your words.
February 5, 2013 at 1:00 pm
How intuitive of you to zone in on my thought about blogging today, I was wondering if a year of fly on the wall ( in June) was enough, wondered if I would or have started to repeat myself, wondering at the point. I am glad for your blog and your up lifting words that so often resound with me, your blog has a very valid purpose x
February 5, 2013 at 2:46 pm
One of the best things about blogging has been the connections made around the world. You and your blog have blessed me this year. Perhaps we are in a mid-winter slump? Your vacation will be an opportunity to reflect and be renewed. I have a week in March I’m looking forward to.
February 5, 2013 at 3:03 pm
Yes maybe we are π Thank you for your kind words and yours has blessed me too π I am glad to hear you have a holiday coming up π what are you plans?
February 5, 2013 at 4:37 pm
I, too, wish I had someone who could spin what I said to make to make it more eloquent. (I have long asserted that Maureen Dowd, of the NY Times, often writes exactly what I’m thinking, but makes it sound way better than I ever could.)
It takes guts to put yourself out there, as you are. But, over time, I think you’ll find your trepidation (about sharing your words) fade away.
February 5, 2013 at 7:08 pm
Thanks, Stacy. Its February. Maybe that has something to do with it π
February 5, 2013 at 5:31 pm
I like to remind myself that our words matter and thus we should be both careful and generous with them (a bit of an oxymoron). I also try to remind myself every day that our actions matter too and thus we should be both careful and generous with them, too! Sometimes, I feel like I need a life planning coach to help me write and do more every day!
February 5, 2013 at 7:10 pm
Yes, a coach or a virtual assistant or something would be useful! I like your idea of being both careful and generous, with our actions and our words. Thanks.
February 5, 2013 at 8:10 pm
Words so matter and your more then most, never ever forget that. We all should be more mindful of what flys out of our months. I am reminded of that everyday… LOL
February 5, 2013 at 8:56 pm
Me too, Susan!
February 5, 2013 at 9:44 pm
Words…. When we came out of the rink tonight, Peter said something harsh about someone, and I (ahem) reminded him not to say anything he isn’t willing to say to that person’s face. Immediately, I thought, Oh how I wish I had learned that lesson at 14. It would have saved me and others much grief.
About your quote from Matthew – mountaintop is my word for the year π
February 6, 2013 at 6:25 am
I think I was “taught” that lesson at 14, it just has taken longer to “learn” it. I love mountaintop for a word. I’d like to know where that takes you! My word is “share”.