I sit down in front of the computer this morning, and I start to write a grumpy post.
I sit down, feeling blah, and I start to write blah words. I write this:
I wake up this morning, tired and a little grumpy, and it’s just a lot of going through the motions while I make the breakfast and pack the lunch and check the calendar. I see the things planned and I add the things that weren’t and it’s another long list and another long day and I just can’t muster an ounce of excitement about any of it.
“Boo hoo,” I think.
If I were a cartoon character, a dark cloud would be forming above my head.
I can hear the advice in my mind. Take vitamins, or eat more of this or less of that, or exercise, or pray… meditate, nap, go for a walk, read your bible, be grateful, smile, think of those less fortunate, do something for somebody else, do something for yourself, do more, do less, do something.
I look at the true words I’ve written, and I am stuck. I don’t know where to go from these words to the words I want to write. I don’t quite know what to do with these words. I’m not sure they serve me well, or you either, for that matter.
Here’s the thing. I know, way down deep, where the feelings are coming from. Those I’m not enough feelings. You’ve felt them too, I bet.
She’s doing it better, having it easier, experiencing more joy, having more fun, making more of a difference. She’s got more friends, better relationships, happier children, more to look forward to. On and on and on. And on.
And the deeper I go, the deeper I get.
The truth is, my life is my life.
Actually, the real truth is, my life is His life.
So I stop, in the middle of all the words and threatening tears. I just stop and I bow and I open my hand to Him. I open my heart, just a tiny little crack, and I whisper a tiny word.
“Please,” I whisper.
I know that He knows what I mean.
I know that He can do something today with an open hand and a tiny crack and one little word.
February 8, 2013 at 9:56 am
Oh yes …. we all have lots of days like this …. and I remind myself of Psalm 103:14 For He knows [understands our constitution] our frame; He remembers that we are dust. Indeed, an “open hand and heart” … I know He will bless your day! Thanks for sharing!
On Fri, Feb 8, 2013 at 9:45 AM, My Men and Me
February 8, 2013 at 10:47 am
That is a wonderful verse. He remembers.
February 8, 2013 at 10:00 am
Sigh. . . I hear you.
February 8, 2013 at 10:48 am
I try to blame it on February…
February 8, 2013 at 10:06 am
Oh dear. I have tears in my eyes. Your honest words helped me see that I am not alone. My days are your days. You have helped me find a way out of my grump, I will open my heart a tiny crack, and say, “Please.” He knows what I need. Thank you for being so darn honest, and vulnerable.
February 8, 2013 at 10:49 am
Pamela, thank you. I’m saying a prayer for you today.
February 8, 2013 at 11:38 am
Been there.
Beautiful what you turned it into.
February 8, 2013 at 12:35 pm
We’ve all been there, haven’t we. Thanks Bethany. Have a great day.
February 8, 2013 at 12:24 pm
Yep life is life.. his life as you said. When we except that, all seems to go much more smoothly. 🙂
February 8, 2013 at 12:36 pm
It’s a surrender, isn’t it. Hope you have a wonderful day, Susan.
February 8, 2013 at 12:44 pm
What you wrote today is wonderful and profound, and the beautiful encouragements I read in the comments reminds me anew how important it is to encourage one another. You don’t feel “enough,” nor do I, nor any of us, I suppose. And yet, we are enough in Jesus, and reminding one another of his love is the gift we give to one another.
February 8, 2013 at 3:17 pm
Isn’t it a wonderful thing to be a part of, this community of encouragement. Thanks for being a part of it.
February 9, 2013 at 3:39 am
all you needed to do was ask x
February 14, 2013 at 9:05 am
I’ll try to remember to do it sooner, next time!
February 9, 2013 at 7:10 pm
Been there, done this…. I hope your day improved. Great post, so true our lives are HIS life. DAF
February 14, 2013 at 9:06 am
It did… I really don’t want to waste time being grumpy, you know. There are precious few days as it is!
February 12, 2013 at 1:42 pm
I like that saying, don’t compare your every day to someone else’s highlight reel, while gloom is normal for winter and acceptance needed and worthy so too is discontent a call for action and change. Sometimes the smallest changes can lift the spirits. I hope yours are lifted soon x
February 14, 2013 at 9:07 am
Thank you, my friend. Your encouragement means a lot.